I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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