We're like a lot better than the average bears
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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