i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
