If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
