mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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