I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i will never coherently bang her
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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