Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize