So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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