i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
