I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
