let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
