my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
