I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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