ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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