I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
