I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
