She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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