Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
