well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
