bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
