we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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