he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
