We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
