you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
