My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
