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Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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