Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
third nipple confirmed
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize