omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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