I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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