I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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