If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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