Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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