I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
