I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
