i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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