I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
