some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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