I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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