he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
