my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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