We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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