Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
