If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
