My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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