Pants 0. Shit 1.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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