I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
