I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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