ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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