I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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