i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
