Midget sex pt 2 tonight
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
