Will you blow on my dice?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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