I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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