When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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