I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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