I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
