There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
where are my eyebrows?
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