he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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