Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
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I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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