Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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