I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
